One Last Jar of Soy in the Pantry

Every family has those special recipies that are passed from one generation to the next, and our family is no different. Soy was what we called it, though some have tried to compare it to chow chow when I described it, but not quite - soy doesn't have cabbage or peppers. At it's essence, soy is a relish made of stewed tomatoes, onions, and spices. There's actually no soy products in it, and yet no one seems to know where the name came from other than being known as "Mama's soy." It originated with my great-great-grandmother (as far as we know), was passed down to my great-grandmother, passed to her daughter-in-law, my grandmother, passed to my mother, and finally passed to me (though I have yet to make it). It is a little sweet, very savory, and goes incredibly well on turkey and pork. It was legendary in our family, so much so that members on the other side of the family routinely asked for it at holidays.

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Having those traditions have always been important to me, especially since I have been single for the majority of my adult life. They are things that connect me to people I care deeply about. I also am aware of how fortunate I am to have had a great-grandmother who lived to 101, a grandmother who lived to 98, and two other grandparents who lived into their late 80's. With the passing of my last grandparent in 2025, I became painfully aware of mortality and that I do not have much time left with certain members of my family. It also forced me to acknowledge the realities of aging parents as well as my fears of growing old alone. Who will I have to care for me if I can't care for myself? What if I am living alone and something serious happens? To compound this is the reality that aging LGBTQ individuals face an uncertain future. There are very few LGBTQ-oriented senior care facilities in the US, and discrimination is still a very real thing we have to deal with as we get older. 

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This series looks at all of these factors. It is in its infancy, so what you see on this page could very well change as more images are created and my research continues. I welcome your feedback on the images below.